Fanfare for A New Portfolio, with Neolithic Exhaustment

Ta-daaa... 

...at last finished, for now; the brand new Portfolio with my favourite works that I've been struggling with for so long.

Not only have I been picky and choosy -- amputating the bulk of my oeuvre -- nor was it enough to sharpen it all 'til my eyes cried exhausted rivers. (The oils in particular -- miniaturesque details on relatively coarse grain -- are painfully unphotogenic.) No! All had to be done in the hammer-and-chisel-like, neolithic method known as HTML coding. 

It was all because of my old homepage. I made it when we all still lived in caves. With the primitive yet adequate brains that I had, I reasoned: 

     Artist wants website.

     Artist doesn't want to pay programmer.

     Ergo: Artist has to fathom the meaning of, for instance

td valign="top"
div align="right"
font face="Georgia, Bodoni, Times, Serif" color="#ffffff"
span style="font-size:13pt"

Learning how to speak Machine killed 50% of my brain cells and the other two hurt, but they've lasted until this very day and so has my antiquated homepage (won't look good in your average smart dumbphone, I'm sorry -- nothing past amoeba complexity ever does) and on this page I could build, tweak and distil, Oh sing: 

body bgcolor=#bb9977,
table valign=top width=90% align=center, 
cellspacing=5 cellpadding=5 border=0! 

    Chorus: 'So now we have a portfolio!'

As I said, you're very Welcome.

Now please excuse me while I go massaging my aching neurons; the left one first, I think.